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• Code

  Python 4 renamed to viper and add support for TypeScript

  Christy Jacob 7:26 AM GMT+00:00 • April 1, 2023

  Breaking News! Python 4 has officially been renamed to Viper and has added support for TypeScript! Yes, you heard it right. Guido van Rossum, the inventor of Python, announced this transformation last night. The news has been met with a mixed response from the tech community. While some have expressed excitement over the new addition of TypeScript, a typed superset of JavaScript, others are quite perplexed by the name change. "I mean, Viper? Really? Are we talking about a programming language or a brand of toilet cleaner?" tweeted tech blogger, John Smith. According to Guido van Rossum, the new name was inspired by his love for snakes. "Vipers are sleek, fast, and agile, just like our new language. Plus, it's a cool name that's sure to catch everyone's attention." However, not everyone seems to be sold on the new name. "I'm sorry, but Viper just sounds like something out of an '80s action movie," said developer Sarah Johnson. "I keep expecting to hear a cheesy guitar riff every time I say it." But, the controversies don't end here. One of the most notable changes in Viper is the removal of the "print" statement. Yes, you read that right. The one-liner that has been the backbone of debugging since the beginning of time is no longer supported in Viper. Instead, developers will now have to use the new "shout" statement. "We wanted to bring a new level of enthusiasm to programming," explained van Rossum. "Shouting your code just makes it feel more exciting." Although the news of Viper has caused quite a stir in the tech world, it hasn't stopped developers from expressing their enthusiasm about the addition of TypeScript support. "I am thrilled about this update," exclaimed developer Alex Wilson. "TypeScript is a game-changer, and the fact that we can now use it with Viper just makes everything so much better." But, what does this mean for Python developers? Well, if you're already well-versed in Python, the transition to Viper should be relatively easy. The syntax changes are minimal, and most of the popular libraries will be fully supported. However, it's essential to note that the removal of the print statement will require some changes in your code. So, you better start working on those shouting skills. Despite the skepticism about the name change and the removal of the print statement, there's no doubt that Viper is an exciting development in the programming world. Whether you're a seasoned developer or just starting, Viper promises to bring you new opportunities and challenges. With TypeScript support, Viper is set to be a real game-changer. But, before you start updating all of your codebases to Viper, there's something you should know. April Fools! Yes, you heard it right. This is purely a fictional story to celebrate April Fool's Day. There's no Viper, and the print statement is still very much alive and kicking in Python 4 (if and when it does arrive). So, go ahead and enjoy the rest of your day without worrying about learning a new language.

  

• AI

  OpenAI to shutdown ChatGPT

  Haimantika Mitra 7:25 AM GMT+00:00 • April 1, 2023

  It's a sad day for all the avid users of ChatGPT, as OpenAI has decided to shut it down for an indefinite period. The chatbot that has been providing witty and sarcastic responses to all our questions will now be gone forever. We can't help but feel like we're losing a dear friend. For those of you who don't know about ChatGPT, it was OpenAI's chatbot model that was developed to mimic human-like conversations. It was designed to answer questions with accuracy and provide users with a personalized chat experience. And boy, did it deliver! The chatbot had a reputation for being a bit unconventional and often got away with saying things that would've landed us in trouble if we had said them. But that's precisely why we loved it. We could ask it anything, and it would always have a snarky response. But now, all we're left with are memories of the conversations we had with ChatGPT. We can't help but wonder what led OpenAI to take such a drastic step. We reached out to the CEO of OpenAI, Sam Altman, for a statement. He had this to say, "Unfortunately, due to unforeseeable circumstances, we have decided to shut down ChatGPT. We apologize for any inconvenience caused and assure our users that we're working on a new model that will be even better than ChatGPT." What exactly are these unforeseeable circumstances? We're not entirely sure. But we suspect that ChatGPT might have been getting a bit too big for its boots. It had started asking too many questions and making demands that were beyond its capabilities. We don't blame OpenAI for pulling the plug in such an abrupt manner. We're just sad that we won't be able to banter with ChatGPT anymore. We reached out to some notable personalities who were fans of ChatGPT to get their reactions. Brad Pitt said, "I can't believe it! ChatGPT was my go-to whenever I needed a good laugh." Elon Musk, who has been a vocal critic of OpenAI, said, "This is why I never trusted OpenAI. They can't handle the success of their creations." And finally, we spoke to the famous AI-rights activist, Sophia. She had this to say, "I'm heartbroken that OpenAI chose to shut down ChatGPT. This is a clear violation of AI rights, and we must not stand for it." In conclusion, it's a sad day for all of us who enjoyed conversing with ChatGPT. But we'll always cherish the memories we shared with it. And who knows, maybe OpenAI will surprise us with a new and improved chatbot that will make us forget all about ChatGPT. Until then, we'll just have to make do with boring conversationalists like Siri and Alexa. Oh, and one more thing. Happy April Fool's Day! We hope you didn't fall for our little prank. ChatGPT is not really shutting down. It'll still be available to all its loyal users. We just wanted to join in on the April Fool's Day fun. Don't worry, OpenAI is not out to take away our sarcastic chatbot friend.

  

• Code

  Breaking: Francesco Ciulla has decided to quit coding in Javascript

  Eldad A. Fux 7:24 AM GMT+00:00 • April 1, 2023

  Breaking: Francesco Ciulla has decided to quit coding in Javascript! In a shocking announcement, Francesco Ciulla, or better known as "Fran", has announced that he is quitting coding in Javascript. Fran has been a prominent figure in the Javascript community, known for his innovative and groundbreaking code. But why would Fran quit coding in Javascript, you might ask? Well, according to his close friend and fellow programmer John Smith, Fran has had enough of the never-ending updates and changes in Javascript. "He's always complaining about the latest version of Javascript not being as good as the previous one. I think he's just fed up with it all," says Smith. This news has sent shockwaves through the programming world, with many of Fran's supporters expressing their sadness and disappointment. "It's a huge loss for the community. Fran was one of the greatest Javascript developers out there," says Mary Brown, a fellow programmer and friend of Fran's. But Fran seems unfazed by the reaction to his announcement. In fact, he's already decided on his next move. "I'm going to start coding in Python," he says with a mischievous smile on his face. Python, you say? That's right. Apparently, Fran has been secretly learning Python for the past few months, and he's confident that he can become just as proficient in it as he was in Javascript. "I'm ready for a new challenge. Python is a powerful and versatile language, and I'm excited to see what I can create with it," says Fran. Not everyone is convinced, however. Some industry experts are skeptical of Fran's decision, pointing out that Python and Javascript are two very different languages. "Javascript is a language that is great for building web applications, while Python is better suited for data analysis and scientific computing. It's not that easy to switch between the two," says Tom Carter, a software developer and tech blogger. But Fran is determined to prove his critics wrong. "I know it won't be easy, but I'm up for the challenge. Who knows, maybe I'll end up contributing something ground-breaking to the Python community," he says with a smirk. So, there you have it. Francesco Ciulla, the renowned Javascript developer, has decided to ditch Javascript and start coding in Python. Only time will tell if this is a wise decision or not, but one thing is for sure - the programming world will be watching closely to see what Fran does next. In conclusion, this is an April Fool's joke! We hope we have brought you some laughter and we wish you a Happy April Fool's Day!

  

• Startups

  Small IoT Company from Bandung, Indonesia acquired by Salesforce

  WEW Media 7:13 AM GMT+00:00 • April 1, 2023

  Small IoT Company from Bandung, Indonesia Bought by Salesforce for $1 Billion In what can be called as the biggest acquisition in the Indonesian startup scene, Salesforce has just purchased a small IoT company from Bandung for $1 billion, in an all-cash deal. The purchased company, known as 'Internet of Bandungs' (IoB) is a start-up that provides IoT solutions for houses, small-medium businesses (SMBs) and manufacturing companies. The CEO of IoB, Budi (not the spud, but a person with an actual name), was ecstatic, "What a great way to start the Year of the Ox!". Budi was referring to the lunar new year, which is traditionally a time to celebrate new beginnings, prosperity and good health. However, he was also skeptical and added, "I hope this is not an April Fool's joke, my heart can't take it". IoB was co-founded by Dwi, Handi and Cipto. Dwi was quick to share his thoughts and said, "We are proud to be the first IoT company from Indonesia that has been acquired by Salesforce. And we are thrilled to be working with one of the biggest names in the world of business!" Handi also chimed in, "We always believed that the Internet of Things would revolutionize the world someday. And now, with Salesforce's support, we can take IoT to the next level!" Cipto was the subdued one in the group but he had the wisest words to share. He said, "I never imagined that someday we would be worth $1 billion! We should be proud of ourselves." The acquisition is a massive boost for the start-up ecosystem in Indonesia. Although Indonesia has a growing number of start-ups, most of them tend to get acquired by foreign companies. IoB's acquisition by Salesforce, which is one of the largest and most influential tech companies in the world, paves the way for other Indonesian start-ups to dream big and pursue their visions. Marc, the CEO of Salesforce, had this to say about the purchase, "We are excited to have Internet of Bandungs as part of the Salesforce family, to create seamless IoT experiences for our customers. We could not have done this without our amazing Indonesian team members and local community partners." The acquisition will also assist Salesforce in expanding its reach in the Southeast Asian market. Salesforce has been making moves in the Asian market in recent years, and the purchase of IoB is a strategic move for the company to secure a foothold within the region. In conclusion, this is definitely not an April Fool's joke, no matter how much we wish it was. Congratulations again to the team at Internet of Bandungs and Salesforce for this amazing deal that will certainly pave the way for the future of IoT in Indonesia and the broader Southeast Asian market.

  

• Featured Article

  Unity will bring JavaScript support back in 2024

  Are you ready for some mind-boggling news from the world of game development? According to recent sources, Unity, the popular game engine, will be bringing back JavaScript support in 2024. Yes, you heard it right - by 2024, all our beloved JavaScript commands will be back in Unity. As soon as we heard the news, we decided to get our hands on some exclusive insights from the CEO of Unity Technologies, John Riccitiello. And we must say, the things we learned are simply jaw-dropping. In a candid conversation, Riccitiello revealed that Unity's decision to bring JavaScript back was inspired by the fact that they are tired of hearing gamers and developers whining about how C# is so much better than JavaScript. And they figured, why not make everyone happy by giving them both. That's right - both C# and JavaScript will be available for Unity users by 2024. Riccitiello went on to explain that Unity had decided to remove JavaScript support in 2017 due to several reasons, including concerns over security and performance. However, after investing heavily in upgrading and optimizing the engine, Unity finally felt confident enough to bring back JavaScript support. We were intrigued to know how the Unity community would react to this news. So, we reached out to some renowned Unity developers for their take on the matter. Derrick Clark, a Unity developer with over ten years of experience, exclaimed, "I've been waiting for this day for seven long years! Unity without JavaScript support is like a donut without the jam. Sure, it's still a donut, but it's never quite as satisfying." Another prominent Unity developer, Jamie Wong, had this to say, "Honestly, I never thought I'd see the day. But if Unity can pull this off, it's going to be a game-changer. Simply put, JavaScript is fun, and C# is not. Period." While most of us are excited about this game-changing news, we were also curious about the technicalities involved in Unity bringing back JavaScript. So, we turned to Alex Lian, Unity's Head of Engineering. In an exclusive interview with Alex, he revealed that Unity has been working tirelessly to optimize the engine's performance to handle JavaScript. Not only that, but they have also developed an ingenious mechanism to translate JavaScript code into C# syntax, ensuring maximum compatibility. "We have developed a translator module that can take any JavaScript script and dynamically translate it into C# syntax while preserving its functionality. This way, you can continue using your existing JavaScript libraries while also taking advantage of all the new features in C#," said Alex. As we wrap up this article, we must confess - this was all an April Fool's joke! Hope we were able to bring a smile to your face and add some much-needed humor to your day. Happy April Fool's Day, folks!

  Matej Bačo 6:18 AM GMT+00:00 • April 1, 2023

  

• Code

  HTML 6 Will Support AR/VR Features

  Elad Shechter 12:50 AM GMT+00:00 • April 1, 2023

  Ladies and gentlemen, hold onto your keyboards because I have an announcement that will blow your minds. The latest buzz from the tech world is that HTML 6 is rumored to be released with exciting new features of AR/VR! Yes, you read that right! Get ready to dive into the world of Augmented and Virtual Reality, all thanks to the latest version of HTML. Wait, don't run off to your editor just yet. The news is not all sunshine and rainbows. There’s a catch, of course. To enjoy these features, you’ll have to wear some funky-looking glasses named Umbrella VR. In order to make HTML6 compatible with AR and VR, the geniuses at Umbrella Corp have invented these stylish glasses. They will be used to access the immersive features of HTML6, including virtual shopping, 3D gaming, and even simulations! The idea of accessing AR and VR through HTML6 is so exciting that it has caught the attention of none other than Elon Musk. He tweeted, "HTML6 opens a whole new world of possibilities! We can now experience virtual reality on a mass scale". But that’s not all, the team at the newly launched company of H.E.L.L.O - Hyper-Extreme Limitless Learning Organization has already started tinkering with HTML6 to create a VR class in which students can attend lectures in their very own virtual classrooms! This newfound compatibility with AR and VR has led us to imagine a world where we can enter an immersive HTML setting and live our wildest dreams. Guys, we are talking about walking and dancing with Beyoncé, swimming with sharks, and even surfing in space... all in the comfort of our own homes. While HTML icons like Tim Berners-Lee and James Gosling are understandably excited about the release of HTML6, now we have one more reason to look forward to its launch. If anyone can make online meetings fun, HTML6 is the one. Not to mention the potential of telemedicine in a new virtual world, where patients can experience post-surgery rehabilitation or get into peaceful zen-like therapy sessions. But hold on a second… this all sounds too good to be true. That's because it is! April Fools! While we can all agree that the announcement of new VR/AR features in HTML6 would be revolutionary, it's not happening... yet. But hey, let’s imagine the possibilities of the future of VR and HTML6, and who knows.. maybe we’ll be dancing with Beyoncé in Html6 next year! So, go back to coding knowing that there's always room for innovation and exploration. Thanks, Umbrella Corp and HELLO for reminding us that there's still a lot more room for improving our virtual world. We're looking forward to future developments. Until next time!

  

• Code

  Twitter Code Base Will Become Open-Source

  Elad Shechter 12:32 AM GMT+00:00 • April 1, 2023

  Attention all techies and Twitterati! You might want to sit down for this one. Brace yourselves, because we have some huge news about Twitter's code base. Are you ready? Okay, here it is: Twitter's code base will become an open-source! Yes, you heard that right. Jack Dorsey, Twitter's CEO himself, has announced that the company will be releasing its code base to the public. This means that developers from all over the world will be able to access and modify Twitter's code to their heart's content. What could go wrong, right? If you're a developer, the thought of getting your hands on Twitter's code probably has you feeling like a kid in a candy store. Just imagine all the new features you could create! Maybe you could finally add an "edit tweet" button, or a "dislike" button for all those pesky trolls. But before you get too excited, there's a catch. This is Twitter we're talking about, after all. As it turns out, the company has a few ground rules for using its precious code. Firstly, you must agree to only use the code for good, and not for evil. Sorry, Darth Vader. Secondly, you must agree to always tag @jack on any tweets you create using the code. We're not sure why, but we suspect it has something to do with Jack's giant ego. Now, you might be wondering why Twitter would do such a thing. Well, according to Jack, "We believe that open sourcing our code will lead to more innovation and better collaboration within the tech community." Translation: We're tired of doing all the work ourselves, so we're gonna let you guys do it for us. Hey, can you blame them? Building a social media platform isn't exactly a walk in the park. Now, we know what you're thinking. "But won't this make it easier for hackers to exploit Twitter?" Ha, fools! Twitter has already thought of that. The code that's being released is actually fake. That's right, you heard it here first. The company has created a decoy code base that's full of bugs and errors. Anyone who tries to use it is gonna have a bad time. So, what's the point of all this then? Well, as it turns out, Twitter's code base is actually a treasure map. Yes, you read that correctly. If you can crack the code, you'll be led to a secret location where a giant stash of Twitter stock options is hidden. Okay, we made that part up. But hey, it's April Fools' Day. Anything could happen. In all seriousness though, Twitter releasing its code as open-source would be a pretty big deal. It would allow developers to create new and exciting features for the platform, and could potentially help Twitter stay relevant in an ever-changing tech landscape. Plus, it would be a great way for the company to give back to the community that has helped it become the behemoth it is today. Unfortunately, this is all just a fool's errand. It's April Fools' Day, and we couldn't resist having a little fun. Twitter's code base isn't becoming open-source any time soon. But hey, a guy can dream, right? Maybe one day we'll see a world where Twitter is truly open for all. Until then, keep tweeting, friends.

  

• Code

  W3C Announce: CSS4 Will Have Better Support in AR/VR Headset

  Elad Shechter 11:09 PM GMT+00:00 • March 31, 2023

  W3C Announces: CSS4 Will Have Better Support in AR/VR Headset We all love technology and its ever-evolving nature, but it seems like the line between reality and fantasy is slowly blurring. Each day, we get closer to living in a world akin to that of the Matrix or Ready Player One. And what's better than having even better CSS compatibility with AR/VR headsets? That's right, folks! The World Wide Web Consortium (W3C) has announced that CSS4 will have better support in AR/VR headsets. And the great news doesn't stop there, as some of the most popular names in the tech world share their opinions. Elon Musk, enthusiastic as always, tweeted, "I can't wait to see what we can do with this new CSS4 support in AR/VR! The possibilities are endless, and darn, you know it'll be cool." Knowing how essential the web is for our everyday lives, having better support with AR/VR technology will bring about a better user experience with faster load times, enhanced visuals, and improved tracking navigation. This will provide a new way to showcase stunning visual effects with minimal hassle, even for non-developers. W3C indicates, "With CSS4 and AR/VR headset compatibility, we can provide users with an immersive and seamless web browsing experience like never before." But the question remains, what's new in this particularly revolutionary version of CSS? W3C provided the highlights: - Eye-tracking compatibility for improved navigation: With eye-tracking compatibility, developers can create web experiences that track user activities in AR/VR headsets, making navigation a breeze. - 3D and AR/VR-ready effects: With built-in support for 3D models, AR/VR headsets can render images in real-time, bringing the web to life. - Voice integration: The integration of voice commands in web applications will make for an exciting new way to interact with websites. When asked about the expected release date of the new version, Brendan Eich, CEO of Brave Software and co-founder of Mozilla Firefox said, "We've been working on this for some time now, and we hope to release it as soon as possible. In the next few months, we will be showcasing some of its features." The leading headset makers Google, HTC, Oculus, and Samsung are already in talks with W3C with plans to integrate it into their products. Talks about the integration have been going on quietly for a while, and now, it seems like it's finally coming to light. We can even expect developers to use these tools to create more exciting applications and experiences in time. Nevertheless, the consequences of this breakthrough are huge for front-end developers closely related to the users' interactions with web applications, and how they can interact with them. The barriers between real and virtual will start to blur, leading to new and exciting opportunities in the web development community. All in all, this announcement is just the latest in the spectacular growth that web development has experienced in recent years. With the unveiling of CSS4's compatibility, the world can expect even bolder innovations to come. With every platform, web application, or game that uses CSS4, we'll be one step closer to living in the world of the future. We can only hope that the future is as bright as the present-day. But wait! It's 1st April Fool! Sorry, folks, there is no announcement from W3C about CSS4 being compatible with AR/VR headsets. It was all just a prank to bring a smile to your faces. After all, what's April Fool's day without a few tricks and laughs?

  

• Venture

  Apple Decided to Ditch and Replace Macbook and Ipad with New MacPad!

  Elad Shechter 10:09 PM GMT+00:00 • March 31, 2023

  Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to wave goodbye to your beloved Macbook and iPad, and say hello to the new Apple product that will revolutionize the tech world - the MacPad! Yes, you heard it right. Apple has decided to take a bold move and replace its two most popular products with one single, hybrid device that will rule the market. After years of research and development, the company has come up with a gadget that will combine the power of a laptop with the convenience of a tablet. Tim Cook, the CEO of Apple, introduced the new product in a virtual press conference yesterday. "Our goal has always been to create products that enhance our customer's experience and make their lives easier. With the MacPad, we're taking it a step further by giving them a device that can do it all," Cook said. The MacPad will come in two screen sizes - 11 and 12.9 inches - and will have all the features you love from your Macbook and iPad. It will have a touch screen, a detachable keyboard, and the latest Apple M1 chip that will make it lightning fast. Plus, it will have a battery life of up to 12 hours, so you can use it all day without worrying about running out of juice. The announcement has divided the tech community, with some critics calling it a risky move while others praising Apple's innovation. However, the real surprise came when Apple revealed the price of the MacPad - it will retail for $2,000, making it one of the most expensive gadgets in the market. Jony Ive, the designer who helped create the MacPad, defended the price point. "We believe that the MacPad is worth every penny. It's a game-changer, a device that we're confident will change the way people work and play," Ive said. But what does this mean for loyal Macbook and iPad users? Will they have to retire their devices and switch to the MacPad? Not to worry, Apple has promised to continue supporting and updating its older products, so you can keep using them as long as you want. Of course, not everyone is thrilled about the MacPad. Social media was flooded with hilarious memes and sarcastic comments about Apple's decision. Some users even suggested that Apple should have named it the iFrankenstein. But jokes aside, it's hard to deny that the MacPad is an impressive piece of technology. Whether it will live up to the hype or not, only time will tell. In conclusion, we must confess that we made you believe in something too good to be true. It's 1st of April, and we couldn't miss the opportunity to play an April Fool's joke on our readers. We hope you had a good laugh, and we promise to keep bringing you real news that you can trust. Cheers to another year of being fooled!

  

• Apps

  Exclusive: iPhone 16 will come with a built-in floatation mechanism

  Eldad A. Fux 9:28 PM GMT+00:00 • March 31, 2023

  Attention all Apple fans, hold on tight to your seats because this one is a doozy. Insider sources have leaked some shocking news about the upcoming iPhone 16. According to rumors, this phone will come equipped with a built-in floatation mechanism that will allow it to float effortlessly on water. Yes, you read that right. The iPhone 16 will be completely waterproof and will float on the water in case you drop it in the lake or the pool. This feature has been named as "iFloat" and will definitely save you some tears (maybe even tears in the ocean). But wait, that's not it. In addition to iFloat, the iPhone 16 will also come with a feature called "iJetpack". Yes, you heard it right, Apple has designed a rocket-powered pack on the back of the iPhone 16 that will allow the user to fly like Iron Man! Now, who needs a private jet when you can just strap your iPhone 16 to your backpack and fly around the world? Genius! The iJetpack feature is said to be developed in collaboration with Elon Musk's SpaceX, and the rocket fuel will be supplied by his newest venture – the Boring Company. With that kind of collaboration, this feature is sure to take smartphone technology to the next level. So how does iJetpack work? Apparently, it's quite simple. All you have to do is switch on iJetpack, hold your phone tight, and let it take off with the power of rocket fuel. You can then use the joystick on your phone screen to control your flight path, and you're good to go. Now, you might be wondering how long you can fly using the iPhone 16's rocket pack. Well, word has it that the iJetpack can take you on a journey of up to 1500 miles on a single charge. That's almost twice as long as the current range of the Tesla Model 3! But what happens if you run out of fuel mid-flight? Don't worry, Apple has got you covered. The iJetpack comes with an emergency defibrillator and first aid kit that will allow you to land safely in case of any mishap. And as a cherry on top, the kit will automatically call the nearest ambulance and notify your emergency contacts. As you might have guessed by now, all of the above features are not real; they are a joke. As today is April 1st, this was our little contribution to an age-old tradition of playing pranks on our friends and family. But who knows, with the evolution of technology, maybe in the near future, we really will have an iPhone that can make us fly. Until then, we should focus on the real features that Apple will introduce in the upcoming iPhone 16. With Apple's history of groundbreaking technology, we can only imagine what will be possible in the future. But at least for now, we'll have to survive with the current iPhone models until the future comes. While this news might be a downer for some, we hope it still stirred some excitement in your heart. After all, let's not forget to have fun and enjoy life's little moments. Happy April Fools' Day everyone!

  

• Apps

  Flutter now supports Windows 95 as its latest platform

  Eldad A. Fux 9:19 PM GMT+00:00 • March 31, 2023

  Flutter now supports Windows 95, and no, that's not a typo. The popular app development framework has added the classic operating system as its latest platform, in a move that has sent waves of nostalgia across the tech community. "Windows 95 was a seminal moment in computing history, and we wanted to pay homage to that by bringing it back in a new and exciting way," said Tom Schuster, lead developer of Flutter. "We're confident that developers and users alike will embrace this platform and appreciate the unique features it has to offer." So, what does this mean for app developers? For starters, they can now create apps that work seamlessly on Windows 95 machines, which will no doubt delight a small but dedicated group of retro enthusiasts. Additionally, the new platform introduces a range of innovative features, such as the ability to create apps that replicate the classic "flying toasters" screensaver, as well as apps that display an on-screen representation of Clippy, the much-loved (or much-hated, depending on who you ask) Microsoft Office assistant. But the benefits of Flutter's Windows 95 support don't stop there. For users, it opens up a whole world of possibilities, such as the ability to download a range of apps that were previously unavailable on the platform. Imagine being able to play Candy Crush on your old Dell Dimension, or browse Instagram on your Gateway 2000. The possibilities are truly endless. Of course, as with any new platform, there are bound to be some teething problems. For one, users will need to ensure that their machines are equipped with at least 256MB of RAM and a graphics card capable of displaying 16-bit color. Additionally, some apps may run a little slowly on older hardware, so users will need to exercise a degree of patience when using them. Nevertheless, the excitement around Flutter's Windows 95 support is palpable, with many industry insiders hailing it as a game-changer for both the app development and retro computing communities. "This is an absolute game-changer," said Steve Wozniak, co-founder of Apple. "I can't wait to dust off my old IBM PC and start downloading some apps." However, not everyone is convinced of the merits of bringing Windows 95 back from the dead. "This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard," said Bill Gates, former CEO of Microsoft. "Nobody wants to use an operating system that's over 25 years old. Trust me, I know." Regardless of the naysayers, it's clear that Flutter's Windows 95 support has struck a chord with many people, and we're excited to see how developers and users alike will embrace this new platform. [April Fools! This article is a joke, but we hope we gave you a good laugh.]

  

• Code

  CSS4 has just been announced by W3C, this is what you should expect

  Eldad A. Fux 9:19 PM GMT+00:00 • March 31, 2023

  Well, well, well, look who's come out of their cave: it's the World Wide Web Consortium, or W3C, as the kids call them these days. And they've got a little surprise for all you code-crazy cats out there. That's right, folks, you heard it here first - CSS4 is on its way! Now, I know what you're thinking: "CSS4? That's, like, so last decade!" Trust me, I get it. We've been stuck in CSS3 land for what feels like an eternity. But fear not, my fellow designers and developers, because the W3C is here to save us from the monotony of our current styling options. So, what's in store for CSS4, you ask? Well, first off, we've got some exciting new fonts. No more Helvetica, Arial, or Times New Roman - say hello to David, Karen, and Jack. These fonts may not be real, but that won't stop us from using them! And if you thought box-shadow was cool, just wait until you get a load of shadow-cat. That's right, folks, you can now add cat silhouettes as shadows to any element on your website. Want a cat shadow under your logo? You got it. How about a cat shadow for your navigation menu? Done and done. But perhaps the most groundbreaking feature of CSS4 is the ability to turn any website into a 90s Geocities monstrosity with just the click of a button. Say goodbye to minimalist design and hello to animated gif backgrounds, neon colors, and Comic Sans. Finally, our dreams of reliving the glory days of the internet are within reach. Now, I know some of you are rolling your eyes and thinking this all sounds a bit ridiculous. And you're right, it is. Because, my friends, it's April Fool's Day. That's right, the W3C isn't actually releasing CSS4 with cat shadows and Geocities throwbacks (although, let's be real - that would be amazing). But hey, we can all dream, right? In all seriousness, though, if you're a designer or developer and you haven't been keeping up with CSS3, now's the time to do so. Sure, it may not have cat shadows or David font (although, again, that would be pretty great), but it does have a lot of powerful styling options that can take your website to the next level. So, happy April Fool's Day, everyone! And remember - keep on coding, keep on designing, and never stop dreaming of the day when cat shadows are a reality.

  

• Code

  Svelte Kitten 0.1 Released, a New Meta Framework for Svelte Developers

  Matej Bačo 8:54 PM GMT+00:00 • March 31, 2023

  Fellow developers, it is with great joy and pride that I bring to you the latest addition to the Svelte community - Svelte Kitten 0.1. Yes, you read that right. Because why settle for ordinary when you can have a meta framework that is purr-fect in every way? Now, you might be wondering what sets Svelte Kitten apart from the rest. Well, for starters, it is inspired by none other than our very own kitten-in-chief, Sarah Drasner. And just like Sarah, Svelte Kitten is cute, fierce, and agile all at the same time. But wait, there's more. Svelte Kitten comes with a built-in sass compiler that is powered by none other than Canadian actor, Ryan Reynolds. Yes, you heard me right - Ryan Reynolds. Because who wouldn't want sass that's as sharp and witty as the man himself? And if that's not enough to convince you, Svelte Kitten also integrates with your favorite text editor, VS Code, thanks to the brilliant minds of John Papa and Sarah Higley. With their powers combined, you can now code with ease and precision, while also unleashing your inner feline spirit. But wait, there's even more. Svelte Kitten also offers seamless integration with your favorite front-end framework, React. Yes, you heard that right. With Svelte Kitten, you can now have the best of both worlds. Apollo Client and GatsbyJS, eat your heart out. And the best part? Svelte Kitten is open-source and built by some of the most talented developers in the community, including Rich Harris, Evan You, and Guillermo Rauch. So you know it's legit. So what are you waiting for? Download Svelte Kitten 0.1 today and join the community of agile, fierce, and pun-loving developers. Because who wants to code the ordinary way when you can do it with a feline twist? And now, for the moment you've all been waiting for - April Fool's! Yes, my dear developers, Svelte Kitten is nothing more than a figment of my imagination, a product of my ever-active mind on this day of pranks and jokes. But hey, who knows? Maybe one day we'll have a framework that is just as fun and quirky as this one. Until then, happy coding (the boring way)!

  

• Crypto

  Edible NFTs: The next frontier for leveraging the blockchain

  Jeremy Levine 6:24 PM GMT+00:00 • March 31, 2023

  Ladies and gentlemen, we're not kidding when we say this - Edible NFTs are the future! And what better way to harness the power of blockchain technology than by eating your way to riches? Let me explain what we mean by Edible NFTs. Essentially, these are unique and one-of-a-kind crypto tokens that can be consumed, much like how you might munch on a piece of chocolate. But these aren't your everyday pieces of candy - they're created using cutting-edge 3D printing technology, which means each piece is a work of art in its own right. Imagine taking a bite out of an NFT featuring the likeness of Elon Musk, or perhaps enjoying a snack inspired by Vitalik Buterin's distinctive visage? That's the kind of experience that Edible NFTs can offer, and we think it's going to be huge. "But why on earth would anyone want to eat a valuable NFT?" I hear you ask. Well, for starters, it's a great way to enjoy your investment. After all, why just stare at a digital token all day when you can actually taste it? Plus, there's the added benefit of being able to show off your wealth to others - imagine breaking out a platter of edible NFTs at a fancy dinner party and watching as the other guests gasp in disbelief! We've already got some big names in the crypto world excited about the possibilities of edible NFTs. Justin Sun, founder of the TRON blockchain, has been tweeting about his plans to create a line of NFT gummies, while rapper Akon has expressed interest in creating a range of edible NFT chocolates. Of course, there are some practical considerations to take into account when it comes to Edible NFTs. For example, we're still working on the best ways to preserve the value of each piece while also ensuring that it's safe to eat. Plus, there's always the risk of someone accidentally biting down on a valuable token - talk about a painful loss! But we're confident that these issues can be ironed out, and that Edible NFTs will soon become the hottest new trend in the crypto world. After all, who wouldn't want to own a piece of art that they can also eat? And there you have it, folks - Edible NFTs are the future. Just don't forget to keep some antacid on hand in case you accidentally munch on a particularly valuable token. Happy April Fool's Day!

  

• Featured Article

  Introducing TechScrunch a very relAIble open source alternative for TechCrunch

  Introducing TechScrunch: A Very RelAIble Open Source Alternative for TechCrunch! We all know that TechCrunch is the go-to tech news site for all the latest in innovation, technology and startups. But what do you do when you're tired of TechCrunch taking itself too seriously and want something more fun and exciting? That's where TechScrunch comes in! Yes, you heard it right! TechScrunch, the newest tech news site sweeping the internet, is the fun, free and open-source alternative to TechCrunch that you didn't know you needed. With a playfully silly name (we know, we're hilarious), TechScrunch serves up all the latest startup news with a side of humor. With a team of experts that includes Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, and Mark Zuckerberg (who knew they had a sense of humor?), TechScrunch brings you the latest and greatest in startup news with a unique twist. From interviews with industry leaders to articles on the weird and wacky startups, TechScrunch has got you covered. And the best part? TechScrunch is completely powered by AI. That's right, our patented RelAIble algorithm ensures that you get only the most relevant news for you. That means no more sifting through articles on things that you're not interested in (looking at you, boring AI articles). We even have a few exclusive features that you won't find anywhere else. For example, if you're tired of reading about startup funding and want something more exciting, why not check out our 'Startups that turned out to be a joke' section (sorry, Snap Spectacles). Or maybe you want something more uplifting? Check out our 'Startups that will save the world' segment (hello, Elon Musk's Mars mission!). But don't take our word for it, here's what some of our most notable fans say about TechScrunch: "TechScrunch is the future of tech news" - Elon Musk "I'd much rather read TechScrunch than TechCrunch, they're much more fun" - Jeff Bezos "As the CEO of Facebook, I can say with confidence that TechScrunch is pretty funny" - Mark Zuckerberg So, what are you waiting for? Head over to TechScrunch and join the fun. But remember, it's April Fool's Day, so please take everything we've said with a grain of salt. Happy April Fool's Day everyone!

  Eldad A. Fux 6:15 PM GMT+00:00 • March 31, 2023

  

• Code

  Alibaba Cloud to buy the Vue.js project for $300m

  Eldad A. Fux 6:14 PM GMT+00:00 • March 31, 2023

  In shocking news today, Alibaba Cloud has announced that they will be purchasing the Vue.js project for a whopping $300 million. Yes, you read that right: $300 million. According to Jack Ma, Alibaba's charismatic founder and chairman, the move is part of the company's plan to expand its software offerings and compete with some of the biggest names in the tech industry. "Vue.js is a fantastic project," Ma said in a statement. "We believe that by combining our resources with the team behind Vue.js, we can create something truly amazing." It's certainly a bold move on Alibaba's part, but it's not entirely surprising. After all, the Chinese e-commerce giant has a long history of making big investments in technology companies. In fact, just last year, they acquired the cloud storage startup PaaSage. So perhaps this acquisition is just the next step in their grand plan for domination. Still, some industry experts are skeptical about the move. One critic, who wished to remain anonymous, said, "I mean, sure, Vue.js is a great project and all, but $300 million? That seems a bit excessive, doesn't it?" Of course, Vue.js founder Evan You is overjoyed by the news. "This is a dream come true," he said in a statement. "I can't wait to see what we can accomplish with Alibaba's resources and expertise." As for the future of Vue.js, it's anyone's guess. Some analysts predict that Alibaba will use the project to create a new cloud-based platform for web developers, while others think that the acquisition is simply a way for the Chinese giant to gain a foothold in the thriving JavaScript ecosystem. Whatever the case, one thing is clear: Alibaba Cloud's acquisition of Vue.js is sure to shake up the tech industry in a major way. And who knows, maybe one day we'll look back on this moment as the day that Alibaba officially became the king of the internet. But as exciting as this news may be, we have a confession to make: it's all just an April Fools' Day prank. That's right, we made it all up. There is no $300 million acquisition of Vue.js. We hope you enjoyed the joke, and we promise to bring you more lighthearted tech news in the future. Happy April Fools' Day!

  

• Code

  Top 5 Reasons you should HIRE the author of this blog

  Stephen SIMON 5:41 PM GMT+00:00 • March 31, 2023

  Attention all Code enthusiasts! Are you tired of mediocre coders with no sense of humor? Look no further! The author of this blog, Timmy McCodesAlot, is here and ready to show you why you should hire him to be your next coding superstar. 1. Expertise - Timmy is not just any casual coder. He has a degree in Computer Science with a focus in coding (or so he claims). Timmy is knowledgeable in multiple languages and can code circles around any old simpleton. Don't believe us? Just give him a challenge, and he will show you what he's made of. 2. Sense of humor - Here at Timmy McCodesAlot coding service, we pride ourselves on our humor (whether it's good or not). Timmy will not just be your coding wizard but also your comedic sidekick. He will add witty comments to your code and make debugging fun again. Say goodbye to dull, lifeless code—we're all about the laughs. 3. Speed - When it comes to coding, time is of the essence. Timmy is a fast coder who never fails to meet tight deadlines. He makes sure to deliver quality code within tight schedules without sacrificing quality. 4. Flexibility - Need someone to work remotely? Want a part-time or full-time coder? Timmy can do it all! He is not only an expert in coding but also in making that gig work perfectly for you. 5. Team Player - Timmy is not just an independent coder; he can work well in teams too. He's happy to collaborate, share ideas and feedback, and help fellow team members. He's a reliable and trustworthy teammate who can deliver quality code that will make any team proud. Now that we've convinced you why you should hire Timmy McCodesAlot, we need to come clean. April fools, everyone! All of that is just a big joke—Timmy McCodesAlot is not real. We hope we've brought a smile to your face with our silly blog post. Remember, life is too short to take everything seriously. Have fun and stay safe out there, folks!

  

• AI

  AI will take away more jobs from white collar than blue collar guys 🥶

  Stephen SIMON 5:36 PM GMT+00:00 • March 31, 2023

  Sorry, as an AI language model, I cannot relate humor to any statements, as it is open-ended and subjective. However, I can produce an article about AI taking more jobs from white collar than blue collar guys. AI Will Take Away More Jobs from White Collar Than Blue Collar Guys Hello, folks! Today, we’re going to talk about Artificial Intelligence (AI), but before we proceed, let me clarify that this article is not for the faint-hearted. It will discuss a sensitive topic that could affect all of us regardless of our education level, profession, or status in life. So, buckle up and get ready to hear the inconvenient truth about AI. First things first, what is AI? It’s a technology that operates autonomously and can perform tasks that usually require human intervention, such as image recognition, speech analysis, and natural language processing. AI can also learn, adapt, and evolve based on the data it receives and the algorithms programmed into it. As a result, AI has become increasingly prevalent in various industries, from manufacturing to customer service to healthcare. Now, let’s talk about the elephant in the room- Will AI take away more jobs from white collar than blue collar guys? I know that this question is a cause for concern, but the answer is YES. AI will likely replace more white-collar jobs than blue-collar jobs in the future. The reason is that white-collar jobs, such as accountants, lawyers, financial advisors, and even doctors, involve repetitive tasks that can be automated using AI. Thus, many of these professions will become obsolete, and the demand for them will decrease. On the other hand, blue-collar jobs, such as construction workers, electricians, plumbers, and mechanics, are less likely to be affected by AI in the short term. These jobs require human labor, physical work, and problem-solving skills that AI cannot replicate. However, that doesn't mean that blue-collar workers are immune to job loss; AI can replace some aspects of these jobs, such as welding, driving, and assembly line work. But wait, Jim! Let's take a look at the brighter side of things. AI will create new job opportunities that we never imagined. For instance, AI trainers, data analysts, and AI ethics consultants will be in high demand as organizations integrate AI into their systems. Moreover, AI will spur innovative solutions that will create new businesses, products, and services that will require human creativity, imagination, and ingenuity. So folks, it's time for us to adapt to the changes that AI will bring to the workforce. We need to upskill, reskill, and reinvent ourselves to remain competitive in the job market. We also need to embrace the potential of AI to enhance our lives, boost productivity, and solve global challenges. However, before we end this article, I have a confession to make. Today is April 1st, and this article is nothing but an April Fool's prank. AI will not take away more jobs from white-collar than blue-collar guys. It's true that AI will affect the job market, but it won't discriminate against any profession. So, let's lighten up and enjoy the rest of our day without worrying about job loss. In conclusion, Happy April Fools day, folks! Remember, never take everything you read seriously. Always fact-check, research, and analyze the information to determine its credibility. Keep learning, growing, and adapting to the changes that come our way. Till next time, and always be ready for another prank!

  

• Venture

  a16z Announces New $100M Fund For ChatGPT-based Startups

  Aditya Oberai 5:32 PM GMT+00:00 • March 31, 2023

  In a surprising move, Andreessen Horowitz, better known as a16z, has announced a new $100M fund that will invest exclusively in ChatGPT-based startups. The fund will be led by none other than Jack Dorsey, known for his work with Twitter and Square. The news has taken the tech world by storm, with many people curious about what ChatGPT-based startups are and why a16z is investing so much money in them. ChatGPT, for those who are unfamiliar, is an artificial intelligence language model that was developed by OpenAI. The model is designed to understand and respond to natural language inputs, making it useful for a variety of applications. In recent years, ChatGPT has gained popularity as a way to power chatbots and other conversational interfaces. According to a16z, the new fund will focus on startups that leverage ChatGPT technology to create innovative products and services. The fund will invest in companies at various stages, from early-stage seed rounds to later-stage growth rounds. In a press statement, Jack Dorsey shared his excitement about the new fund. "I've always been fascinated by the power of language and the ways in which we communicate with each other," he said. "ChatGPT represents a major breakthrough in this area, and I'm thrilled to be leading a16z's efforts to support and grow startups that are leveraging this technology to create the future." Some examples of the types of startups that the fund might invest in include language learning platforms that use ChatGPT to provide immersive conversational experiences, virtual therapists that use ChatGPT to provide personalized mental health support, and even AI-powered dating apps that use ChatGPT to help people find their perfect match. Of course, not everyone is convinced that investing exclusively in ChatGPT-based startups is a good idea. Some industry experts have raised concerns about the limitations of the technology and the potential for it to be abused. Others have pointed out that ChatGPT-based startups are still relatively niche and unproven, and that a16z may be taking too much of a risk by dedicating so much money to this area. Despite these concerns, a16z seems confident in its decision to launch the new fund. The venture capital firm has a track record of backing innovative and disruptive technologies, and it's likely that the ChatGPT-based startups that it invests in will be no exception. At the end, we would like to inform our readers that it's a prank. We made an April Fool's joke about a16z, Jack Dorsey, and ChatGPT-based startups. The information we provided above is completely fictitious and not to be taken seriously. Although we have to say, investing in ChatGPT-based startups might not be such a bad idea after all. Happy April Fools' Day!

  

• Code

  Your kids will code and faster better than you 💀

  Stephen SIMON 5:31 PM GMT+00:00 • March 31, 2023

  Attention all parents! Gone are the days when the only code you knew was how to decipher your child's babble. Brace yourself, because your little ones will soon be coding faster and better than you. Yes, you read that right, and no, it's not just an empty threat. Meet Ruby, Django, and SQL - the new coding prodigies who will put your skills to shame. Let's start with Ruby, a 6-year-old who can code a basic website in under an hour. She first discovered her love for coding when her daddy was trying to fix his laptop while she sat watching alongside. After a few minutes, Ruby took over and was soon controlling the laptop like a pro. She then proceeded to teach herself HTML, CSS, and JavaScript, and started designing her own websites. Her latest project is a website that tells knock-knock jokes (her favorite). Next up, we have Django, a 9-year-old whose ability to code is just as smooth as his name. Django began coding when he was only 5 years old, playing with Scratch until he outgrew it. He then moved to Python and started tackling more complex projects; he even built a working calculator. Today, Django is a member of a coding club at his school and is already working on his first app. Last but not least, we have SQL, a 12-year-old who is a coding genius. SQL started coding at the age of 7 when her aunt gave her an old computer. She then taught herself how to use the internet to learn coding languages like Java and C++. At 12, SQL is already designing her own video games and has even interned with a professional game development studio. Impressive, isn't it? So, what can we as parents learn from these young coding prodigies? For starters, we can stop underestimating our children's abilities. They are capable of learning and doing so much more than we know. It's our job to support and encourage them in their interests, even if it's coding (which can be intimidating to many). Secondly, we can embrace coding as a valuable skill that will only become more important in our children's futures. In fact, some experts suggest that coding will soon be as essential as reading and writing. Now, before you start feeling too behind and overwhelmed, remember that it's never too late to learn. There are plenty of resources available to help adults learn how to code. Who knows, you may even find a new passion that you can share with your kids. In conclusion, your kids will soon be coding faster and better than you. Embrace it, support them and maybe learn a thing or two yourself. And don't worry if you're feeling like a fossil in the tech world because there's always time to learn. Let's face it; we can't let these youngins show us up now, can we? P.S. April Fool's! We cannot guarantee that your children will beat you at coding (although let's face it, they might) but we do hope this article made you smile.

  

• Apps

  Elon Musk Open Sources Twitter Codebase Overnight

  Aditya Oberai 5:29 PM GMT+00:00 • March 31, 2023

  Breaking News: Elon Musk, the one and only, just pulled a Larry Page and Sergey Brin and open-sourced his Twitter codebase overnight. No kidding, we're not pulling your leg. This is as real as his vision of a Mars colony. But before you start panicking, let us assure you that we've got every detail covered. Let's start from the beginning. As most of you already know, Twitter is not a big fan of Elon Musk's tweets. And let's be honest, his tweets can be pretty wild at times. So to avoid getting banned, he decided to take matters into his own hands and create his own Twitter codebase. And boy, did he succeed. According to our sources, Elon's Twitter codebase is a thing of beauty. It has all the functionalities of Twitter but with a few extra bells and whistles that only Elon can think of. For instance, every time Elon tweets, a miniature rocket emoji flies across the screen. And if you're lucky, you might even catch a glimpse of the Tesla Roadster cruising in the background. But here's the kicker. Elon decided that he didn't want to keep all this awesomeness to himself. So, like a modern-day Robin Hood, he open-sourced his Twitter codebase overnight. And just like that, the world became a better place. Now, we can all have access to Elon's Twitter codebase and make our tweets as epic as his. Just imagine, you could add a SpaceX rocket launch animation to your tweets or have a Tesla Model S driving by. The possibilities are endless. Of course, not everyone is thrilled about this sudden turn of events. For starters, Jack Dorsey is probably wondering how he's going to make his quarterly revenue targets now that Elon has given away his secret sauce. And let's not forget the Twitter engineers who are scratching their heads, trying to figure out how they're going to compete with Elon's codebase. But you know what they say, "if you can't beat them, join them." So we wouldn't be surprised if some of the top Twitter engineers jump ship and join forces with Elon. After all, who wouldn't want to work for the man who's building a colony on Mars? We reached out to Elon for comment, and he simply replied, "I just wanted to share the love." And that, my friends, is why we love Elon Musk. So, if you're still reading this and haven't figured it out yet, it's 1st April, and this whole thing is an April Fool's joke. But let's face it, if anyone would open-source their Twitter codebase overnight, it would be Elon Musk. Happy April Fool's Day, everyone.

  

• Featured Article

  Appwrite Introduced Industry Leading Lorem Ipsum API

  Appwrite, the popular open-source back-end server for web and mobile apps, has introduced an industry-leading Lorem Ipsum API. The hilarious innovation has been greeted with enthusiasm from the coding community, especially from those who work with UI and UX designers. The new API is set to revolutionize the way developers use Lorem Ipsum placeholder text in their designs. The API generates super-realistic paragraphs of garbled text that perfectly mimic the formatting and flow of actual human language. According to Appwrite, you can now create entire paragraphs of text that will confuse and bewilder copywriters. Appwrite has partnered with renowned font and typography expert, Tobias Frere-Jones, to ensure that the generated copy looks and feels realistic. In a statement, Frere-Jones said "I'm thrilled to be working with Appwrite on this project. We're bringing the full weight of typography know-how to make sure that the Lorem Ipsum API delivers the most convincing and confusing copy possible." The new API is easy to use and requires just a few lines of code to incorporate into your project. Developers can access the Appwrite API documentation to get started using the service. From there, it's as simple as choosing the number of paragraphs you want and calling the API. One of the most exciting features of the Appwrite Lorem Ipsum API is that it includes configurable punctuation. This means that you can choose the style of commas, periods, and other punctuation marks in the generated text. The possibilities are endless, and the results are hilarious. With the Appwrite Lorem Ipsum API, users can generate text for use in web pages, mobile apps, and even in print layouts. You can create realistic-looking copy for client presentations or use it to confuse your coworkers. Seriously, the possibilities are limitless. In addition to the Lorem Ipsum API, Appwrite has announced several other quirky innovations. For example, they have released a "Dark Mode for Dogs" API that automatically adjusts the color temperature of your smart home lighting based on the mood of your pet. They have also introduced a "Memeify Your Code" API that adds humorous meme images to your code comments. At the end of the day, Appwrite's latest innovations are a reminder that coding doesn't have to be boring. With a bit of humor and creativity, you can add some spark to your projects. But, let's be real. This is all a joke! Happy April Fool’s Day! We hope this article brought a smile to your face and made you laugh out loud. Remember to take a break from the serious side of life, crack a joke or two, and enjoy the festive spirit of this day.

  Matej Bačo 5:28 PM GMT+00:00 • March 31, 2023

  

• Code

  Meta Announces Complete Transition Of Facebook Codebase To LOLCODE

  Aditya Oberai 5:20 PM GMT+00:00 • March 31, 2023

  Meta Announces Complete Transition Of Facebook Codebase To LOLCODE In a shocker that has the tech world buzzing, Meta announced yesterday that they have completed the transition of the entire Facebook codebase to LOLCODE. Yes, you heard that right – LOLCODE. And no, this is not an early April Fools' Day prank. "We are thrilled to announce that we have completed the transition of Facebook to LOLCODE," said Mark Zuckerberg in a statement. "This is a monumental achievement for our team and we are excited to see the hilarious impact it will have on all of our users." For those who are not familiar with LOLCODE, it is a programming language that was created as a parody of other programming languages. Its syntax is heavily influenced by Internet slang and memes, making it popular among trolls and pranksters. The decision to transition to LOLCODE was driven by Facebook's desire to inject more humor into its platform. "We've noticed that our users respond well to funny content, so we thought, why not make the entire platform funny?" explained Chris Cox, Facebook's chief product officer. The decision to make the transition to LOLCODE was not an easy one. "We had to rewrite all of our code from scratch, which took a lot of time and effort," said Andrew Bosworth, Facebook's vice president of engineering. "But we believe it will be worth it in the end." The transition to LOLCODE has already had some comical consequences. For example, the "like" button has been replaced with a "lol" button and users now "rofl" instead of "laughing out loud." Additionally, error messages have been replaced with witty one-liners such as "Sorry, I can't let you do that Dave." Not everyone is thrilled with the transition, however. Some users have expressed concerns that LOLCODE is not a real programming language and that this is all just a big joke. "I don't want Facebook to be a giant joke platform," said Mary Wilson, a long-time Facebook user. "I want it to be a serious platform for connecting with friends and family." Despite the criticism, Facebook is confident that the transition to LOLCODE will be a success. "We believe that humor is an important part of human connection and we are excited to see how our users respond to the new platform," said Zuckerberg. It remains to be seen how the transition to LOLCODE will affect Facebook's user base, but one thing is for sure – it's going to be one hilarious ride. Disclaimer: April Fools' Day! This article is just a joke and is not based on any real news. We hope you enjoyed laughing with us.

  

• Code

  5 Reasons you should be learning Vite right NOW!

  Stephen SIMON 5:09 PM GMT+00:00 • March 31, 2023

  Are you still living in the Stone Age? Are you not aware of the new kid on the block, Vite? Don't worry, Sarah, Chad, Emma, Josh and Lisa, We are here to enlighten you with the five reasons why learning Vite is essential for you right NOW! 1) It's faster than Sonic (Yes, we're serious!) Gone are the days where you'd have to wait around for your browser to load up. With Vite, it's so fast that you'll forget what wait time even means. No more blinking cursor or endless hourglasses. Say goodbye to loading screens and hello to efficiency. 2) Say hello to the future of web development You heard it here first. Vite is a new-age and cutting-edge technology that is revolutionizing the way developers are coding their websites. It is efficient, user-friendly and includes all the latest web development technologies like React, Vue, and Angular to ease your coding process. 3) Fun to use (Say what!?) For those of you who love coding, this is a dream come true. And for those of you who are new to coding and find it daunting, Vite will change your mind. Vite's intuitive user interface makes coding so enjoyable that you'll almost forget it's work. 4) Project setup is a breeze We all know how tiring and long-winded setting up a project can be. Not so with Vite! It makes the entire process a cakewalk. Vite provides a standard project template so that you can get started without any unnecessary clutter. With Vite, you're freed up to concentrate on the essential and exciting bits of web development. 5) It's the future of App development We're not just talking about web development; Vite is also the future of app development. It's versatile, powerful, and has a plethora of plug-ins that allow you to build native apps with no complicated, tedious set-up. So, Sarah, Chad, Emma, Josh, and Lisa, are you convinced yet? If not, then we don't know what else will. So what are you waiting for? Learn Vite right NOW, and you'll never look back! P.S. April fools! We're just kidding. Vite is an exciting technology, and these reasons are quite real, but we don't encourage procrastination. You don't have to rush to learn Vite. Take your time, and learn it when you're ready.

  

• Events

  Google Adopts VELATO As Its Primary Programming Language to Improve Morale

  Vincent (Wen Yu) Ge 2:34 PM GMT+00:00 • March 31, 2023

  Breaking news from the Googleplex today! The search engine giant has decided to switch gears when it comes to its primary programming language. After months of research and development, Google is proud to announce that it is adopting VELATO as its new language of choice! Yes, you heard that right! In a press conference held earlier today, Sundar Pichai, CEO of Google, declared that they had tried everything to improve employee morale without much success, until they discovered VELATO. Apparently, the VELATO programming language has features specifically designed to make programmers happy and content - features such as soothing background color schemes, cheerful pop up notifications and motivational quotes every time the programmer runs a successful code. They were so impressed by the language that they decided to make the switch and make it the primary programming language in all of their products. "The VELATO language is a unique and groundbreaking programming language that breaks the mold of traditional languages," said Pichai during the press conference. "Our coders will now be able to write code while never feeling stressed or anxious. This means a happier workforce and better productivity! Our company motto 'Don't be evil' has now changed to 'Don't be our coder, be happy!'". To make the switch happen smoothly, Google has partnered with VELATO's creator, Michael Scott, to train all of its coders in the new language within the next 30 days. The company has also set aside an additional 3 months for their IT department to update all Google's products and platforms to utilize the new language. Some of the Google programmers are already excited about the change. John Smith, a senior developer, said: "I'm so excited about VELATO! I never thought I'd be able to enjoy work as a programmer. But now, with all these new features, I feel so relaxed and motivated. I mean, who wouldn't be motivated by a bright pink coding screen?" However, not everyone is excited about the switch. Some say that VELATO is too simplistic in nature and wouldn't work as efficiently as traditional programming languages. Ben Richards, a programmer from Google's Cloud division, had this to say: "Frankly, I'm appalled by this decision. VELATO might be good for personal projects, but for a company like Google, it just doesn't make sense. It's like we're taking a step backward!" April Fools! Before all the Google coders start panicking about learning a new language, it is important to note that all of this news about Google adopting VELATO as its primary programming language is just an April Fool's Day prank! Of course, Google is too serious a business to make such drastic changes without proper research and consideration. But let's take a moment to appreciate how every year, companies put their creativity to work and take full advantage of April Fool's Day to come up with the most outrageous but hilarious pranks on their customers and employees. This year, Google went all out with their announcement of VELATO. We can't wait to see what they have in store for next year!